It's about time
by HerHeadsInTheSky
Summary: Astoria and Draco, set in his sixth year. Kind of dark, very sarcastic and bitchy. What went right? Canon. Swearing and such.
1. Chapter 1

I scratched out the sentence, hand hovering as I chewed my lips and waited for the words to float into my brain.

I sat alone in the greenish darkness of the Slytherin common room, hesitantly writing a letter to my parents. It was agonising. Their perpetual disappointment in me hurt, and replying to a particularly nasty letter hurt even more.

My Father had shown signs of knowing more than he should once more, and I still ached at the memory of his last "lesson". The threatening text should have been ignored as the anger of an old man, but he was still my Father. I still loved him. It just made every letter so much more painful.

I thought back to the scene their earlier letter had created, and sighed.

*FLASHBACK*

_Tap, tap. _The noise at the window alerted me to the fact that an owl was outside of my window, but I held back from answering it. I was late for first lesson, having run back to my dormitory for my forgotten school bag.

Giving in and resigning myself to being late, I opened the cool glass, and was immediately assaulted by my Fathers beautiful black eagle owl.

I took this as a bad sign. Mother usually sent me the friendly 'keep-up-to-date' letters, whereas Father was more... severe.

Unfurling the parchment, I took a deep breath as I began to read.

I didn't go to my first lesson in the end. In fact, I'd completely forgotten I had any. I hadn't forgotten Daphne's schedule though. I bit my lip as I looked at my watch. If I ran, I'd make the end of her lesson. I hoped she hadn't left already.

My legs groaned as I forced them quickly up stair after stair to the top of the Astronomy tower, sprinting to make sure Daphne and I would have privacy. Some of the paintings looked at me disapprovingly, some happily egging me on. A particularly large woman was saying to another "Ooh, watch her go Violet, doesn't she look eager!" I grimaced, but kept running.

When I reached the top, I was a mess. My hair, I knew, was messy, dark strands wildly escaping my careful ponytail. My face was flushed, warm from emotion and physical movement. My breathing heavy and often, I knew my usually perfect appearance was shattered. Still, she was here.

I only just made it. She had finished packing up her things, and I steadied myself internally before walking up to my sister and her multitude of like-minded idiot friends in a manner that simply screamed confident. Internally, I shook, but I collected my face into a cool mask, my chin sticking out slightly, my posture very straight, head raised.

"Daphne," I called, just loud enough for her to hear me. "Daphne, we need to talk."

She looked at me disdainfully. "Not now Astoria, can't you see I'm busy? I have to go to Transfiguration."

I glared at her in disbelief as she turned away from me, an obvious snub.

"Daphne." My voice hardened, turning cold and commanding. "If you will not talk about it privately, I _will _talk about it publicly."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she span to face me. "You wouldn't-"

"Are you willing to risk it?" I stared pointedly at her posse of curious friends, who all blushed and looked away.

She hissed, before saying in a voice so sweet that my tooth enamel was in danger "You guys go ahead. I'll catch you right up."

She smiled encouragingly at them and they slowly drifted towards the door, eyes flicking over at us every step along the way.

As soon as they'd left, the smile dropped. "Astoria, I don't want to hear it. In fact, if you say a fucking word, I will make Father's threats seem as empty as they truly are. Grow up!" She twisted expertly on her heel and stalked out.

A wave of disappointment in my sister hit me. The harsh words from all members of my immediate family followed, and I felt as I was drowning in a sea of despair. My face remained composed however, and I walked slowly to the edge of the high tower. I contemplated jumping, before shaking my head. Slytherin to the core, I was much too cowardly. I would face my problems first.

I jumped as a voice disrupted my suicidal reverie.

"All alone, Greengrass?"

I whipped around, face hostile, as the voice continued. "Why, with an attitude like that, it's no wonder you have no friends."

I scanned the shadows cast by the pillars in the room, searching for the source. I couldn't see anything. Growing frustrated, I did one last visual search, and gave a small jolt of alarm as I noticed a flicker of pale movement.

"Malfoy?" I murmured, squinting to make sure.

"You shouldn't pull faces like that, the wind will change and you'll be stuck forever." He sniffed. "Of course, in special cases, it's an improvement..."

His gaze travelled over my body, and if it were not for the pronounced sneer on his face, I would have said he was checking me out.

I crossed my arms across my chest and rolled my eyes. Of course, I couldn't be sure that's where his eyes had landed, but I was fairly certain.

"If you want to imagine me naked, Malfoy, do it in your own time. I'm busy." I snapped, twirling to face the overview of the grounds once more.

When he spoke again, his voice was much too close for comfort, coming in a soft tone just behind me.

"This _is _ my own time. I have a free, and I need to finish up here."

"Oh." I faltered. "Well, I guess now is a good time to think about me naked then."

I smirked at his shocked face, and darted out of the room. I needed time to think. And as much as I hated to admit it, Draco had cheered me up. I loved being a bitch.

**A/N Okay, first one up! Takes place in Draco's sixth year, when he's all "rawrr I'm soooo evil and dark-marky and Imma kill Dumbles" . I think he needs a bitta lovin' then.**

**I solemnly swear to update every week (except next week will be erratic as I'm moving house).**

**Question; Who's hotter, Draco Malfoy or Tom Felton? **

**Oh and I totally stole the naked line from the Vampire Academy series, and the characters from J.K.R. ... LOVE, me xx**


	2. Chapter 2

I watched with no real interest as Binns began to prove his point about Bodrick the Beastly by making stabbing motions. It had little effect however, as most of the class we're half-asleep anyway; and a ghost gesturing wildly would do little to appease the bored students.

Ready to drop off myself, I took one quick glance around the room, checking that nobody needed me, before drifting into a semiconscious stupor.

I hated the fact that I felt the need to check; I should be able to do whatever the hell I wanted, but the fact of the matter was that old habits die hard.

I remained almost lifeless for about ten minutes, staring out of the window but seeing something entirely different, before a soft knock roused me.

The knock came again, louder, and from my position by the door it seemed more eager. A first year peeked around the door, eyes big and scared, round as two galleons. I looked at her, absorbing every detail in a matter of seconds.

Father had always said you never knew when information would come in useful, and that every sliver was a potential weapon.

She coughed, and Binns paused in mid-flow, before carrying on in the same monotonous drone.

"P-please Sir, I-I've been t-told to fetch someone," Finally, she had his attention, although her words came our altogether, a stuttery blur.

"Yes, Wayne? Who?" He seemed surprised to hear another's voice in his lesson, and I agreed. Nobody ever spoke voluntarily in History of Magic; it was such a waste of time.

"A-Astoria Greengrass Sir, s-she's to go to Professor Snape Sir."

I blinked in surprise. Sure, Snape was my head of house, but I had very little contact with him during term time. In fact, he let any mistakes I made go due to my pure-blood Slytherin blood, but mostly ignored me. I was fine with this arrangement, and wondered what I had done that I was being summoned from lessons for.

"Off you go Astoria," Professor Binns said, managing to sound supremely uninterested once more. He immediately continued his lecture, and as I packed up, I could only thank whatever trouble I was in for letting me escape.

I left without a backwards glance, and almost ran into the first year. Once again, I was surprised, but my only reaction was to blink. My emotions were never shown on my face unless I fully intended them to be.

I sighed. "I know where his office is, you can go." I said it coolly, letting her know I was not encouraging company.

She squealed and flushed an unbecoming shade of pink. "You have to go to McGonagalls office,"

I frowned at her. "I am aware of it's location also." I swept away regally, and I was almost there when I heard a tinkling thud.

Whipping around, I once more hid the shock from my face. She'd followed me, and had dropped her scales, blonde pigtails swinging wildly.

I grimaced. We were on the third floor by now; and more than ten minutes had passed since the first timid knock. I'd better hurry. I shot her a cold, piercing glare to ward her off following me again, and left her to reassemble the scales by hand. I would not perform even the simplest spell for her; she was annoying and I was glad to be rid my shadow.

I knocked loudly on McGonagall's door before stepping in grandly. I kept my face an impenetrable mask, hiding the fact I'd always been secretly terrified of the imposing animagus,

"Miss. Greengrass," she said, a look of intense surprise across her face. "What are you doing here?"

Now it was my turn to look shocked "You sent for me," was all I could manage in a steady tone, too amazed that she wouldn't remember to say anything more.

"I see. That was fast." She said, and I glanced around the room as she did. Headmaster Dumbledore also stood there, a grave expression across his normally beaming face, and Snape's greasy body was represented too.

I scowled at the doubt in her voice, and opened my mouth to say more, but was caught off guard by the opening of the door behind me, and a breathless Daphne rushing through.

"What's going on?" She asked, confused and breathless.

It was Snape who spoke next, and his sallow face almost had an expression of… I would have said pity, except… no. It was gone, and he carried on speaking.

"It's your Mother. She'd been attacked. She may not have long left." The world span, my heart sinking rapidly. I barely heard the next words, lost in a state of panic.

My mother was a descendant of Pascaline and Selwyn clans; both highly regarded, very wealthy Pureblood lines. She had married in to the Greengrass clan, and was as close to royalty as the wizarding world had. Attacked? Impossible.

Snape continued, unaware of the bedlam in my brain. "Your going home. Tonight."

Just then, a petite first year burst in, face bright with the exertion of running.

"She wasn't there Professor, they said she'd already gone-" her voice trailed off as she saw me standing there, devoid of emotion.

"Thank-you, Doherty, she seems to have made it nonetheless" McGonagall said, picking up a teapot as she shooed the first year out.

_Another first year, looking for me? Good grief they're annoying, _I thought to myself. I barely had time to register my own confusion, or that of the Professors, before McGonagall had turned the silver pot into a glowing portkey.

"You have half an hour to pack. Return to my office when you are ready." She dismissed us with a wave of her hand, and suddenly I was in the Slytherin common room, distantly remembering sprinting rapidly to my dorm.

I packed in a hurry, shoving clothing in with no real care, my attention on my mother, desperately hoping she was okay. Soon, I was with Daphne once more, walking slowly to McGonagalls due to the heavy suitcases.

"I'm scared." I whispered, angering myself. I never betrayed my emotions, instead keeping them sealed inside.

She didn't laugh. "Me too," she whispered, and took my hand. It was the first time in a long while we hadn't argued, and the silence was a comfortable, reassuring one.

I clenched her fingers tightly, and she squeezed back.

Mother had to be okay, she had to be. I couldn't even entertain the thought of anything less.

**A/N Yay, new chapter! No Draco, I hear you cry? Well, if we remember the sixth book, what do Crabbe and Goyle spend a lot of their time as? Hmm. What a weird coinkydink then, that Astoria had TWO fetchers...**

**Anyway, review for a virtual hug (; Ex**


	3. Chapter 3

I was alone in the Slytherin common room once more, the remnants of my crying jag streaked across my face.

It had been three days since I'd heard about my Mother's attack, and thankfully she was still alive. Daphne and I had returned to the overwhelming splendour of Greengrass hall for four nights, and had come back to Hogwarts a little over forty minutes ago.

Stupidly, that had been when the tears started to flow. My usual reserve had fallen away and crumpled on seeing the familiar green of my home, and it taken just a few short minutes for their salty wetness to leave tracks across my cheek. Daphne had teared up too, but had run past the deserted common room into her dorm. I watched her go, glad to be alone.

I hadn't cried once at 'home'.

My mind pulled be back to the big estate that was my birthright, and I shuddered. Hogwarts was my real home, the only place I'd ever truly loved. Of course, I'd enjoyed the manor when I was young, but as I got older the hatred and prejudice that the vast rooms seemed to live on unnerved me, and I no longer felt comfortable within it's confines.

It had been worth it to visit my mother though.

Fresh tears threatened to form, my I held them back with my regular control, and forced myself to relive it without crying.

Father had put her in a private ward at St. Mungo's, and paid for the best private Healers money could buy. It wasn't enough.

_Her body, always neat and manicured as a new quill, lay in a state of disrepair. Her usual stylish, sleek hair lay in wild knots around her swollen face, and no make up framed her startling blue eyes today. Lines had started to appear over her forehead, and her expression was that of extreme fatigue. Her posture, normally so straight and elegant, was crippled and hunched as she lay alone in the cot they'd placed her in. She kept attempting to throw off the covers and climb out of bed, the healers told us, and so they'd put her in the box like contraption so it was no longer possible._

_Like a baby. She looked so helpless. I ran to her, face strained with worry, but Father had held me back. Daphne looked shocked, her face mirroring my internal fear. _

_Father had knelt by her bed, and taken her hand, kissing it softly. She'd stirred, her limbs flailing uselessly. _

"_Louisa?" he whispered the words, his voice more gentle than I'd ever head. "Louisa, I've brought the girls. Daphne and Astoria are here to see you, and tell you how much they love you. Wake up, sweetheart."_

_He'd beckoned us then, and we'd crept forward, scared of the shell that was our ever composed Mother. _

_I let Daphne speak first, but she only managed a few words before she'd torn from the room, hot tears dripping off of her trembling chin. Father had followed her, and so I was left alone, with my dying Mother and the sobs of Daphne for company._

_I'd kissed her semiconscious forehead and whispered softly "It's me, mum. It's Astoria." She'd looked at me uncomprehendingly, blue eyes stony. Slowly, she became more aware of her surroundings, and I'd let a grin spread across my face, happy._

_Until she'd started shrieking. Her voice seemed unable to morph itself into words, instead loud, terrified wails poured out of her, something I never thought I'd hear my Mother do._

_I'd sprung away from her, petrified, as several healers sprinted into the room and my Father had dragged me out._

I blinked myself back to the present, curling in to the soft silver cushions which adorned the green sofas.

She hadn't recognised me. Whoever had attacked her had altered her brain, and she scarcely remembered Daphne and my Father, but me? She had no recollection of who I was.

The next few days I had spent listlessly staring at my room from my unchanging position on my bed. I'd attempted to go back twice, but every time her eyes turned to me the horrific wailing would start, and I was made to leave by my distressed Father.

Eventually, I'd returned to Hogwarts, knowing that she was in a stable condition. We were to visit her once a fortnight, something I'd thought was generous considering we were an old, prejudiced pureblood family and You-Know-Who was supposedly back.

The Headmaster had said a few sappy words about the dying needing to be shown love in their last days, but quite honestly, I hadn't listened. I just wanted my Mother back.

My feelings were made all the more desperate when nobody had sent me any letters of condolence. Daphne had gotten several a day, but then, I supposed, she was popular.

I tended to stay away from my peers, by and odd mixture of choice and no other alternative. The Slytherins kept their distance - I was known to be... sympathetic to Mudbloods, and as a Slytherin with fantastically noble blood, they treated me with wary, if cold, respect. The same reason that stopped my house from cruelty was the very reason I was mistrusted by everybody else. What good could a Slytherin do? A Greengrass, no less, must be icy and manipulative.

Of course, it didn't help that I was Slytherin to my bones, and icy and manipulative behaviour were just two of the services I offered. A third being sarcasm, they were less than inclined to be my inter-house bff.

I'd never minded though, until I realised I might be lonely. Sitting alone in the dark, dead of night silence, I wished I had somebody to talk to.

I started to wipe the tear-tracks from my face, when I heard a slight 'whoosh' behind me.

Speedy as a serpent, I'd whipped round to the source of the noise, before groaning slightly.

Malfoy.

"Greengrass?" he'd phrased it as a question, and I looked at him, surprised. I assumed he'd known I was here.

He flopped down on a leather chair opposite me, face turned into a web of shadows by the warm, if dying, fire.

"When did you get back?"

I opened my mouth to retort with something witty, but gave up. What was the point? "Just now." I kept my tone carefully free of any inflections what-so-ever, my voice a monotone.

He shifted, and I saw his features better in the half-light. I gasped.

"Malfoy, you look like shit!" the words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them, but they were true. His pale face was haggard looked tired, and the beginnings of frowns threatened to appear on his smarmy face. He wore his school uniform, without the robes or shirt, and the black top he had on instead was creased beyond belief.

The effect was immediate. His eyes flashed and darkened, his mouth shot down into an unpleasant sneer.

"Oh yeah?" he scoffed. "The same could be said for you, Greengrass. Whatever look you were going for, you missed."

I laughed coldly. "Good one Malfoy, that cut me deep." I rolled my eyes. "Of course, I wouldn't expect anything more mature from a smarmy git who was better off as a ferret."

Crap. I'd gone too far.

He sprang off of the chair in one fluid motion, bounding over to me, wand drawn. He took both of my slender wrists in one of his, preventing me from attempting any kind of attack or defence.

He smirked, and suddenly, I felt something spark in me other than the numbness that coursed through my body. Something pulled in my abdomen, a fluttery feeling, and my wrists felt as if they were burning from his touch.

I felt my face warm. How could I be attracted to _Draco Malfoy? _Even worse, I was attracted to him when he was trying to attack me while my mother lay in hospital.

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of how kissable his lips looked, and how his messy hair complimented his undeniably handsome face, even when obviously shattered, or how close he was, or how the ripple of his muscles were clear beneath his tightly fitting tee-shirt.

"Don't you ever mention that again," he hissed into the dark, somehow sounding menacing and sexy simultaneously. He caught my gaze flickering over him, before locking with his own. "And don't deny you don't want me, Greengrass."

I couldn't help it. With that snarky comment, all attraction left me, and my retort was leaving my lips before I had time to think.

I deepened my voice deliberately, trying to make it rough and sexy, while pouting and making my eyes hold on to the emotion that had just left - lust.

"Draco," I purred, wriggling seductively in his grasp, pushing myself closer to him. His eyes widened slightly. "Of course I want you..."

I deadpanned, and returned to the cool monotone. "I want you to leave. Get. Out."

Immediately, he let go of me as if I burned, and whirled from the room without saying a word.

But I knew what I'd seen. Before he'd left, his eyes had mirrored mine, just for a moment.

Draco Malfoy _liked _me acting like that.

Stranger still, I had liked acting like that with _him. _

**A/N so I don't want to be like Join-my-review-crew-or-I-won't-update, but it takes thirty seconds and makes my day! I think 6 alerts and a favourite are lovely, but they don't tell me what you think :(**

**Jokergirl - thanks for reviewing and for the pressure! Haha.**

**E x**


	4. Chapter 4

Time continued to pass, but I felt every tick of the clock, each second passing torturously slowly as I deftly marked my astronomy chart with precise strokes, not paying full attention as I accidently confused Venus and Neptune.

My mind drifted away from the silent room, and I thought of my Mother- although, if I was honest, they'd never left her since that day.

It had been two weeks since the initial attack, but there was absolutely nothing to report. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

Whoever said no news is good news was an idiot. The waiting was worse than realising my worst nightmares were true.

I'd always preferred my Mother. There was no point denying it. My Father seemed unable to show emotion to anybody that wasn't a carbon cut pureblood like dearest Daphne and good ol' mum. Or anybody that wasn't me, really.

I didn't look like them. I wasn't pretty. I'd accepted this, but I still clandestinely wished I had their dainty, heart shaped faces perfectly complimented by softly waving blonde hair, pink pouty lips and a tall and the elegant figure most girls would kill for.

Instead, I was a mere five foot six, my hair was dark, thick beyond belief, and curled down to my lower back. My face was less rounded, more edged, and I could never quite capture the innocent sweetness Daphne had, instead looking older than reality and more... aware of my surroundings. Her frame was slender, dainty, where mine was curvier and fuller, still slim but more wiry than skinny. In short, we looked nothing alike.

It was our eyes that made us completely different though, really. Her's were icy blue, cool and precise, but so big they took up half of her face. Mine were a deep brown, almond shaped and ringed with hundreds of dark lashes.

It wasn't that I resented being plain, or Daphne being the classical Greengrass beauty, looking deceivingly like a princess. No. I was above such petty jealousy. It was more the fact that _Father _resented my looks, hating that I wasn't the pureblood pedigree Gregor Greengrass demanded.

Without doubt, it was Daphne that held the favour there, and she played up to it, getting her way in anything as a child.

I remembered how, on my sixth birthday, she'd complained that she disliked my party guests. Of course he'd stepped in, and she'd invited her friends, and I'd spent my day hidden under the cake table in an attempt to stop them from hiding me and playing their cruel mind games with my naive self.

My mother was an angel at these times, subtly maneuvering a situation so it wasn't so hopelessly unfair. I'd seen her eyes narrow as Daphne domineered and schemed, watched as she was horrified by her daughter's cruelty time and time again.

Yes, she was my saviour, and her not recognising me was unendurable.

Tick, tick, tick.

I glanced at my work, surprised to find it finished, if not entirely accurate. I didn't bother to correct it. Several of the Professors were cutting me a lot of slack, and I took full advantage of the situation. Only McGonagall, Flitwick and Snape demanded my usual care, and truthfully, those lessons were a relief.

With a flick of my wand, I rolled up the completed parchment and sent it zooming into my trunk. Despite it being just before midday on a Sunday, I was sat inside my empty dormitory, working away in an empty silence on a conjured desk.

I'd cut away from the few people I had spoken to, finding the chatter inane and boring, retreating in to myself. I only deigned to visit the common room in the early hours of the morning when I couldn't sleep, and I finished all homework hours after it had been set.

But now I had nothing to do. No friends, no homework, no Hogsmeade, no parents to diligently write to...

Suddenly, the room was stifling, and I had to get out. Out of the dreary room where I'd spent countless hours, out of the dungeons whose weight threatened to crush me, out of the castle.

I ran down the stairs with undisguised desperation, not stopping until I was far gone, right beside the Quidditch pitch.

Sucking in deep, gasping breaths of good, clean air, I looked around, surprised to see around thirty Slytherins on the pitch.

Tryouts. I shrugged, and made my way over to watch. It wasn't like I had anything better to do, I thought bitterly.

I shivered, cursing myself for flinging myself into the chilly last days of September without so much as a jumper.

A drawl infused with arrogance and self-assurance cut through the crisp air,

"_You're _trying out, Greengrass?" Malfoy sneered with delight.

"If I throw a stick will you go fetch it?" Not my finest work, but my restless nights had caught up with me. I twisted my own mouth into an imitation smirk. "Of course, I wouldn't expect you to catch it, useless seeker that you are. Bribery, was it?"

He flushed. "Watch your mouth, Greengrass, or I swear to Merlin, I'll hex it off your face."

I grinned widely, enjoying toying with the smarmy git. "Touch a nerve? Or was it just that I stepped on your, poor, iddy-biddy ego a bit too hard? It's okay Malfoy, you'll grow up one day."

And with my last insult just registering on his features, I all but sprinted into the changing rooms.

Only to be dismayed several seconds later as I was seized bodily by Milicent Bulstrode. Shit.

"Trying out for the team, are we..." she looked at me blankly.

"Greengrass. Astoria Greengrass, and actually, I'm not-"

She cut me off, pushing me away. "You can try out for chaser. Hurry up and get changed!"

I squirmed unpleasantly. One the one hand, I really did not want to play quidditch. It was a stupid, dangerous sport. On the other, Bulstrode would want to know why I hadn't shown, and I was too intimidated by her imposing figure to consider running. Besides, if I made the team, I'd have something to do again.

Sighing, I summoned my mandatory, if ill-used, quidditch robes to try out in and began to get changed, before realising I didn't have a broom.

Hesitantly, I turned to one of the girls beside me, MacNair, I think, and whispered

"I don't have a broom!"

She laughed.

"There's spares outside. Although good luck catching anything on them, a flobberworm could outstrip some of the newest ones on a good day!"

And with a toss of her chocolate mane, she left with her friend, leaving me alone to scramble in to my green and silver robes and wondering just how badly I would do.

**A/N I might take this down an re-write it. I'm not sure about it. Thoughts?**

**So, I'll either repost this and add some more tomorrow, or later today. But probably tomorrow. Also updates will now be regular again! Yay. I got interweb back :)**


	5. Chapter 5

I sat in the changing rooms shivering violently, slowly warming myself up with a gentle stream of warm air.

Stupid quidditch, I thought bitterly.

I'd pretended like I was trying out for chaser, but it had taken me four attempts to get the stubborn stick to jump into my hands.

From then on, everything had been a disaster. I'd held my own for a short while, even managing to do a nifty dodge past Albasam and very nearly scoring, only to have the wind knocked out of my sails by Hill. Literally.

It seemed I wasn't the only one who had trouble on a broomstick. A lot of useless flyers had turned up, but I think that was mainly due to Malfoy. For reasons I couldn't fathom, his arrogant, only mildly good looking face made most of Slytherin, and indeed the school, swoon.

Git. He'd deliberately winked at Hall, sending her into spasms and me into the giant squids arms.

I'd shaken my head at assistance, and ignoring the look on Malfoy's face, had gladly removed myself off the pitch into the dry, if cold, changing room.

Directing my wand at the waterlogged hems of my quidditch kit, I fluidly switched into my robes before vanishing the kit up to my dormitory and stepping back into the chill of the evening.

I smirked as I watched Malfoy twirl in mid-air with surprising gracefulness, just to muck up on the landing as he descended to the ground.

My smile vanished as I realised he was coming over. To me.

"Good job out there Greengrass, I'm sure the underwater quidditch will become very popular someday." He looked pleased with himself, though it was hardly funny. "Maybe one day I can show you how _real _witches play."

I snorted, and crossed my arms. "You would know Malfoy, that twirl was eerily reminiscent of a little girl."

"Which is exactly what you are, you stupid wench. You don't know what you're talking about. I'd explain it to you, but I don't have any crayons." Again, the smirk. "I can outplay you in my sleep."

"You're having delusions of competence again, I see."

He scowled, and glanced back towards Crabbe and Goyle, who flexed menacingly in the stands, eager to come forwards, but he stilled them with a tiny shake of his head.

Laughter, but not the happy sort. "This there is an exclusive, pureblood ball at the Notts for Halloween."

Surprise filled my face at his sudden change of subject.

"And? Besides, Halloween isn't at the weekend, it's tomorrow."

His tone turned mocking. "You're a person of rare intelligence, Astoria. It's rare when you show any. Obviously the ball can't be held when we're required to be at the school. You will be my date."

This time, it was my laughter that rang through the air. "Very funny, Malfoy." I laughed harder.

"No?" The monosyllabic answer was loaded with danger.

"Thinking isn't your strong point, is it Malfoy? Undoubtedly you were expecting my answer."

"What time shall I pick you up?"

I pretended to consider this. "How about never? Is never good for you?"

And then he did something that shocked me to my core. He stepped closer, and in one swift motion pulled up his left sleeve.

I gaped at it, uncomprehending.

"Malfoy... what is that?" the words were whispered. The rumours couldn't be true.

"MALFOY! Get back here!" the Captain of the Slytherin team screamed.

A flash of annoyance crossed his more-than-mildly handsome face. He pulled the sleeve back down, covering the Dark Mark, before stepping back.

"I'd have more respect if I were you, Greengrass." He turned, before saying softly over his shoulder, "And you'll need a dress. I can't have my date looking like you do right now."

My face flushed.

The worst thing wasn't being coerced in to a date with Malfoy, or knowing my sister would never forgive me if she found out, or that he'd insulted me. No.

The worst thing was not knowing if my face was red because of Malfoy's rudeness, or the fact that I was excited to go with the smarmy prat.

**A/N so I couldn't be bothered to repost the previous chapter, so the story line is going differently than I first thought. Let me know if you like it, or not as the case may be!**

**Thanks, E x**

**p.s I just realised it's uber short. Maybe another chapter will appear tonight? :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N... my bad on updating ! In my defence I have school six days a week and I volunteer at Cancer Research on Sundays. BLMGHAKD. I WILL post another tonight.. if you Review!**

As much as I hated to admit it, I WAS excited about my 'date' with Malfoy. I loathed myself for it, but I was undeniably attracted to him, Merlin knows why.

He was cocky, arrogant, smarmy, a total prat... and at the same time, every single one of those things made my heart flutter and stomach beat with the wings of tiny butterflies.

Annoyingly, he was the reason I suddenly found myself thrown into a pit of social vipers, attracted by the delicious scent of a scandal between the ugly Greengrass and the Slither-In Prince.

"Tori!"

My head whipped round. What the ... ?

"Tori! Wait up. You walk sooo fast." a simpering voice attached to a fake looking face gripped my arm.

Great. Olivia Vogler. Wearer of belts disguised as skirts, make-up caked on so thick you knew gravity wasn't holding it up, and the biggest gossip known to the wizarding world. Oh, and so annoying with her nasal like voice droning on constantly, you actually thought about slipping yourself a big vial of Draught of the Living Dead.

"Livvy," I beamed at her, mirroring her act of intimacy, when in actual fact I didn't recall a conversation lasting over three minutes. "How are you? It's been too long!"

I hoped my sarcasm was well hidden.

"I know right? We _have _to catch up soon. But right now, I have some gossip I was wondering you can flesh out for me?"

I put my poker face on. "What gossip Livs? I'm sure you know way more than me." Eyelashes fluttering innocently? Check.

She smirked. "That's true. Actually, it's about you..." her voice trailed off as we turned in to the green and silver common room, fake hair tossed over her shoulder.

Suddenly, she stopped mid-walk, and turned to me, cheeks flushed with the excitement of the impending news. "Is it true that you and..." she looked around before mouthing "_Malfoy _are going to Notts ball this Saturday?"

Inwardly, I rolled my eyes at her pettiness. Outwardly, I widened my eyes, looked to the floor and bit my lip. "Yes... oh, Livvy! Please, _please _don't tell anybody. I know I can trust you. I... I really like him Livs."

Cue eyes up, slight sniffle and...

"I don't know what to wear and how to act and everyone's gossiping and..."

She put her arm around me, comfortingly. "It's ok Tori. I will personally lend you a dress and make sure you look fabulous. And don't worry, I won't tell a soul."

"Thanks, you're _such _a good friend!" I gushed on for a few more minutes, before excusing myself to do homework.

As I walked away, I let a small smirk grace my features. Dress for the ball? Check. Image as little love struck Astoria complete? Check. Whispers that Malfoy knew nothing about, ergo maximum embarrassment? Check.

Maybe this party would be fun after all.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

BANG!

The noise of books slamming against my peaceful table startled me. I looked up and groaned.

Daphne. Pissed off. Fuck.

"Hey Daffs." I said nonchalantly.

She looked unimpressed and furious simultaneously. "Spill Astoria. You and Malfoy? You and FUCKING MALFOY?" Her pitch was in danger of breaking the sound barrier.

"Um. Yeah? It's not what you think."

"I think it's exactly what I think. How did this happen?"

I blinked at her. "Can we go somewhere a little more... private? The whole room is watching us, and undoubtedly listening." To prove my point, several faces instantly turned sheepish.

"Fine. Let's go to Flitwicks room, he never locks it. But when we get there I want details so juicy I could water Africa for a month with them."

"Alright. I'll be there in a second." I said, but she'd already gone. Sighing over my unfinished essays, I flicked my wand and they zoomed upstairs, before turning to follow my sister out of the dungeons.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

"Malfoy's a Death Eater? Yeah, and I'm a muggle."

I blinked at her.

"You're not joking?" She laughed hysterically. "You know what the funny thing is? The funniest thing of all is that I STILL think you don't deserve him. You've always been a whiny bitch, and Mum's always preferred you."

I looked at her uncertainly as she started to cry.

She pointed at me viciously. "You fucking slut!"

"Daphne, what? What's wrong? I'm so confused!"

"Fuck you Astoria! You know EXACTLY what's going on. Just stay away from me."

And with that, she was gone, the only reminder that she was ever there the still warm salty teardrops on the floor.

**A/N Crap, mundane, okay? I am dying to know YOUR opinions ^-^**


	7. Chapter 7

I'd sat alone in that room for over an hour, silent tears coursing down my cheeks, before I got a visitor. I knew I was missing the Halloween feast, but I didn't care. No treacle tart could mend my heart right now.

"Astoria?" His voice was soft, softer than I'd ever heard it before.

No sign that I'd heard him escaped me.

He sighed, before coming and sitting next to me on the cold floor. He hugged his knees effortlessly, cool personified.

I hated him for that. I hated him for looking perfect while I had puffy eyes, mad hair and a red face. I hated him for making my sister fall in love with him, the perfect way to make him unattainable for me. I hated him for always being so smarmy. So yes, I hated Draco Malfoy.

That didn't stop me from craving his touch, to feel again the heat that had broken the numbness just a few short weeks ago.

It didn't stop me from being glad he was there.

I wish it HAD stopped me when I'd turned to him and kissed him. I had a monologue worked out, how I hated him and how there was no way I would go with him on Saturday, how I would suffer the consequences.

But then I did something really stupid. I leaned over, breaking the bond of his limbs and hooking my legs around him. before gently, sweetly kissing him. I pulled my head back a few inches. His scent drifted over to me, warm, and comforting, and inherently ... appetising. I moved my hand to his shoulder, while the other held the back of his head. And yet he remained silent and still, barely moving.

And then I kissed him again, only not quite so sweetly. Right on the mouth.

This time, I didn't pull back. My mouth parted, and I carefully trailed the tip of my tongue over his soft lips, begging for entrance.

Suddenly, he was kissing me back, and urgently, persistently, his hot breath mingling with mine. My hand knotted itself in his hair, and suddenly all I wanted was Malfoy. My vision blurred, and filled with stars, and I wound myself tighter against him, never wanting to let go of this feeling.

His hand snuck up my shirt, gripping my lower back and pulling me closer. Soon we were on the floor, and I was straddled across his lap, my hair a curtain, still kissing violently.

I shivered as his cool hand trailed across my skin, burning up wherever he passed. My nerves were on fire where he kissed me, and I couldn't stop, his mouth moving with mine, soft yet unyielding, demanding but submissive.

I flicked my tongue out again, trailing it lightly against his mouth, and he moaned softly, and gripped me tight against his deliciously firm, warm body.

And then I heard a sob at the door, and I turned, and there was Daphne in the door way, looking heart broken and small.

I pulled away quickly, and scrambled to my feet, sure I looked a mess.

"Daphne!"

"You bitch."

Her eyes were starting to water, and her face like thunder.

I tried walking towards her as Malfoy, I refused to call him Draco, stood up silently behind me.

"Daphne, it's not what it looks like, I promise." My voice desperate, my own eyes were starting to leak again too.

"NO! No. STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Her voice was shrill and impossibly loud, echoing in my mind.

I grimaced, and looked away. When I looked back her cloak was whirling away as she vanished from the doorway.

I stood, stuck, in the middle, feeling helpless. I turned on Malfoy.

"You knew." The words stuck in my throat, a whisper. "You knew about Daphne."

"Of course I knew. Everyone does."

I glared at him, transforming every ounce of pain into fury, loading my voice despite it's dangerous monotone.

"Please tell me you had another reason for asking me to Nott's other than to make Daphne back off."

He stayed silent as I advanced on him.

"What the FUCK Draco?" My voice grew louder, reverberating in the air.

He looked offended. "What do you mean you wretched witch? YOU kissed ME, if I recall. I simply invited you as an..." he sneered. "... acquaintance. The fact that you fell for my many charms is your problem."

"You didn't have to kiss me back! I was upset!" I exploded, furious, though it was more at myself than him. How could I have done that to my own sister?

His face turned angry. "I come in here to see if _you're_ okay, I ask you to a dance a million girls would _die _to go to, and when _you _wriggle onto my lap and start thrusting yourself at me, it's _my _fault?"

With his cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright with passion, and his hair messy and all over the place... I'd never seen him look better. The memory of his lips on mine made me shiver, and I turned my lust into loathing.

"To hell with you and your dance! You can find someone else. I want _nothing _more to do with you."

His eyes flashed dangerously. "I don't need to remind you that your Mother is horribly ill... and what would happen if a certain *ahem* someone, were to withdraw their... support."

My jaw dropped. He was holding my Mother's life over my head so I'd go to a _ball _with him?

"You're pathetic Malfoy. I'll go to this ball if you want me there so badly, but if you ever, _ever _threaten my family again, they'll need more than the _Identicus _charm to recognise your mangled corpse."

I made as if to go, but his hand held me back.

He sneered "What, no kiss goodnight?"

"The next time I touch you, Malfoy, I want to slip in to something more comfortable first. Like a coma."

I sent a stinging hex at his hand, before following my sister's path.

"You'll pay for that, Greengrass." His voice followed me down the hall.

I smirked, and silently vowed that whatever damage he caused me, I'd treble the amount I caused him, before sprinting to the common room in search of Daphne.

**A/N ... VOILA! I did it. Umm. Review? Sorry these last few chapters have been short, the next one will be Nott's and will be uber long, pinky promise.**

**Oh yeah, and I think I need a beta. If you know anyone who can help, mail me! **

**And everyone go check out .Wannabe-Fantasy 's page, it was the solitary review which made me update ^-^**


	8. Chapter 8

I stumbled around the empty passages desperately, my hands softly touching the stone walls, craving warmth and ignorant bliss but instead finding unyielding rock, cold as my own nature.

How could I have been so stupid?

I'd known Daphne liked Malfoy from the beginning. In hindsight, the superfluous cruelty shown to me at birthday parties and other such events were merely a show; get rid of the annoying sister so you can lie to impress the one boy you want to.

That didn't mean Daphne hadn't impressed plenty of _other _boys in the meantime. I was under no false impressions, and even if I wanted to be, "The House Broomstick" didn't allow much room for misunderstandings.

Still... she seemed serious about Malfoy. After her second year at Hogwarts, she spent the summer mooning over how he, _Draco Malfoy, _had lent her a quill. This was a huge deal apparently, and Parkinson had seemed frostier than normal when she spent a few days at Greengrass Hall.

Personally, I hadn't seen what all the fuss was about when I joined in September later that year. Malfoy seemed like the type of person to never let a thought interrupt his flow of conversation.

My suspicions were confirmed when, in my first year, he actually dressed up as a Dementor to scare Potter.

I remember laughing, actually laughing in public, stunned to see Malfoy try and bring down the boy who lived as he flew better than anyone else in the school.

The look on his face had been priceless as he fumbled around, swathed in black cloth, atop the shoulders of some gargantuan beast, although which goon it was I could not remember. Half-wit.

Though right now I was hardly in a position to judge his idiocy. My hands were icy, Daphne still hadn't appeared, and the castle was beginning to awaken with the rumble of students echoing through it's cavernous passages.

I shuddered to think what would have happened if Daphne hadn't walked in. I like to think I would have had the will power and moral decency to leave a slug like Malfoy alone, but even my arrogance has it's limits.

Sighing, I admitted defeat and trudged back to the Slytherin common room. If my sister didn't want to be found; then so it would be. I would not be subject to the humiliation of being found alone and tear stained by a crowd of my moronic peers.

"Salazar"

The wall opened for me, allowing me to enter the common room, and I noticed with relief that I had beaten the crowd. I could easily go up to my room and feign sleep; it provide the perfect excuse to my absence if anybody had noticed I wasn't there.

A voice interrupted my scheming mind.

"Greengrass." The deep tones invaded my privacy, and yet they were so confident I hardly cared.

I didn't bother to turn around.

"What do you want, Nott?"

Theo smiled as he paced slowly towards me, the silence softly threatening.

"What do I want, Astoria?" he chuckled, the laugh unnatural and eery. "As if it's that simple. One cannot know all that their heart desires. No Babbity Rabbity's to grant our deepest wishes."

Nott began circling me slowly.

"No 'Poof!' and an omnipotent wand, no fountain of fair fortune, no parodical enemies defeated with righteous magic. Life is no fairy tale."

I rolled my eyes.

"Bored, Greengrass?"

"Never. I am merely challenged by your ... original point of view."

He laughed humourlessly before stepping closer, every trace of laughter vanishing.

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Astoria."

I snorted, but his sombre eyes made the sound tinny and childish.

"You know not what is in store. Stay away from Draco Malfoy."

"And if I don't?" My tone was as light as his, one eyebrow arched in a show of petty defiance.

He stepped away, backing into the shadows as he began the walk up to the boy's dormitories.

"Of course," he mused, his tone nonchalant, "everybody forgets. We can do magic too. And in the real world, sometimes life is a horror story."

His voice hung in the air long after he'd departed. I remained still as a victim of the Basilisk before I heard the murmuring of the first wave of students entering the common room. I took this as my cue to sprint as fast as I could up into my bed, pulling the covers around my head, hoping that they would drown out the voices in my head.

Nott's thinly veiled threats. Malfoy's reaction to my insane behaviour. Olivia Vogler's nasally tones filling with pride as she dished out the latest scoop. Mother's voice telling me to be careful. Father telling me to be more like Daphne. Daphne's screams of hatred.

The worst voice was the tiny part of me at the back of my mind, exulting at the brilliant kisses I'd exchanged with Malfoy.

There was only one explanation. I was going batshit crazy.

Crap. I think I'm falling for Draco Malfoy.

Balls.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. Unable to sleep, I'd tossed and turned angrily, my mind refusing to turn itself off. When had I turned into a slave to self-pity and other's opinions? I'd cried a little, and wriggled throughout every nook and cranny in the four poster bed, desperately seeking some comfort.

Needless to say I hadn't found any. My temper took a turn for the worse as I realised the only comfort I'd found in a long while had been in Malfoy's arms.

I was grateful that it was a Saturday as I looked into my mirror.

My eyes were pink and puffy, my hair a matted mess. My cheeks retained the imprint of my hand as I lay on it in my sleep. In short, I was not a pretty picture.

Deciding to take a long hot shower, I gathered my things in silence and disgust as I realised I was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday evening. Since when had I sacrificed my personal hygiene in favour of running around the castle, looking for my bitchy blood-relative?

Soon the water eased all of the tension out of my back. The hot liquid beat relentlessly against my skin, a rhythmic drumming that was deliciously soothing against my sore body.

I was slowly massaging Mrs. Whizz's Anti-Frizz into the ocean of knots my hair had become, gently teasing out the dreadlocks threatening to form, when I heard voices.

Pansy Parkinson and Betty MacDonald.

I recognised Parkinson's whines first. "I can't believe he's taking _her._"

Betty sighed. "I know! The slut. I bet she got on her knees and begged him to take her."

They both laughed at the double meaning. I felt sick. It was pretty obvious who they were talking about.

"He's just doing it to win me back. He's trying to make me jealous, that's what." Parkinson was in love with Malfoy too. I sighed.

Betty skipped over this without missing a beat. "Still, she's better than her sister. She's pathetic, the way she leaves Malfoy little messages, how she dotes on his every word... he doesn't even like her!"

Parkinson's tone turned vicious. "I can't wait 'til we're out of this dump and Drakeykins and I can be alone. It's so tiresome having to watch her useless attempts at flirting with _my _man, and then having to console her about her little crush."

Betty simpered knowingly.

"And yet I like her better than Cunningham. Did you hear about what she and Richards got up to last Halloween? It's enough to make a girl positively ill!"

I tuned out their inane chatter as the door swung shut behind them, thinking about what I'd just heard as I watched the foamy swirls of shampoo spiral down into the far reaches of the sewage system.

Daphne was disliked by her peers? I suddenly felt gut-wrenching sorrow as I imagined what it would be like to be Daphne.

To never truly be liked for your personality by anybody, to have to whore out your body for the slightest bit of attention, knowing that this will lose any respect you had gained. To have a mistrustful relationship with your 'friends', and to always wear armour so as not to be hurt by the perpetual knife in your back. To lust after the same boy year after year, and then watch as your younger sister starts to hook up with him. To cry alone, and have nobody care.

Switching off the shower I stepped out into the steamy cubicle and absentmindedly dressed in my favourite set of french cut robes. I painstakingly applied my make-up before casting a neat charm I'd learnt from my Mother to waterproof it. With an efficient flick of my wand, my hair lay in a neat curtain of glossy locks, flawlessly smooth.

Icy perfection. Finally, I hardened my face, trapping all emotions inside of myself, before setting off in search of my sister.

I wouldn't give up until she forgave me, even if that meant missing Nott's ball. Malfoy could do his worst, I wanted no part in his sick games.

At least part of me agreed, and for that I was grateful. I needed to get over Draco Malfoy.

He was nothing but trouble.

**A/N Over eighty people rea****d my plee for help, and you know how many responded? Zero! :( So the next few chapters are kind of filler ones until I get my books back -.-**

**On the plus side, the last two chapters had as many reviews as the first four, and so an update was granted anyway. (Thanks Ecirred, .Wannabe-Fantasy and dancelikeyoujustdontcare for them. And big thanks to colouringcrayons! I appreciate it more than you know :D)**

**As always, review? I do love them a lot. And it makes me want to post more often ^-^**


	9. Chapter 9

I looked at myself in silence, admiring the handiwork of Vogler and her crew of bitchy witches, thinking back over the past few hours.

They'd found me wandering around, eyes puffy but otherwise remarkably calm. Daphne had disappeared without a trace. I saw no sign of Draco either.

In many ways, I was relieved, but a tiny part of me felt... disappointed?

The absence of my sister had given me time to think. Time to think of where the blame should be, and it should not. Namely, me. It was not my fault Daphne adored Draco, just as it was by no stretch of the imagination that the blame of me being a tool in his power games was not on my shoulders.

However, the fact that I'd kissed him was. My attraction was getting out of control, and being alone with him was what is commonly known as 'a bad idea'.

And so I would ignore him. His effervescent wit and undeniable good looks inverted on itself; if I ignored them, they weren't there. And if I wasn't there to witness them not being there, there was no way I could possibly like him.

Crap. This could have worked if I didn't confuse myself so much.

Pleased, I'd stopped feeling so wretched, and started feeling happier about the fact that although I'd lost a friend - and really, there was no other term - I may regain Daphne. Although the same small part of myself cried out for Draco's arms simply because I wanted them.

I shuddered.

I quickly flung the feeling aside and had let myself be swept up in the sea of superficial that was this group of Slytherin girls.

It was actually quite refreshing. Normally I loathed them - they all seemed to have mouths so big they could eat bananas sideways, but today was different.

Today I revelled in the normality of it; the fact that they had getting dolled up down to an an art. No, a science.

I merely sighed as I got tossed from girl to girl.

Sharlene Sampson started first. She ordered me into the shower, barking commands angrily as I soaked up the steamy heat gently warming me. She thrust various bottles and potions over the door, _Wingardium Leviosa _quickly losing meaning as it got repeated over and over.

I have to admit, I enjoyed it. As I followed instructions that held the merest hint of a threat, my skin turned soft and sweet smelling like never before.

I practically floated out.

My make up came next. Johanna Wayne skilfully applied my face, transforming it into a thing of beauty. And then Izzy Ladipo took over, and my hair lay in thick, gentle waves, softly curling down into the small of my back, setting off my dress amazingly.

And my dress. Wow. An incandescent silver that hugged my curves, before spiralling down to just below my knees. It changed in the light; switching between the pearly sheen to an emerald gleam. I smiled.

Finally, I was looking at my reflection.

My eyes were dark and huge, rimmed by thousands of tiny, soft, butterfly lashes, sucking you in to the windows of my soul.

My skin was flawlessly smooth, a light golden colour with faintly blushing cheeks, my cheekbones looking as if I could cut cardboard with them.

My hair was tousled in a way that made it seem effortlessly sexy, waving crazily, drawing attention to my slim waist.

This illusion was only heightened by the towering heights of my shoes, making my legs streamlined and incredibly long.

I smirked at my mirror image. It may not be the nicest thing I'd ever do, but Daphne would approve and besides, "By any means achieve the ends". I was Slytherin to the core. Loyal, cold, and willing to fight.

Too bad my opponent was a Slytherin aswell.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

The ball was better than expected, and worse.

It was better because the evening was remarkably relaxed. After several stressful days, spending some time with the Malfoy heir was surprisingly calming.

*.*.*

"Would you like a drink?" Malfoy's tones wrapped around me, deliberately seductive as his hand attempted a sneak attack around my waist, adding fuel to the fiery rumours that surrounded our relationship and dampening the spirits of Malfoy's many admirers.

His pathetic attempts at fake flirting had started when he'd collected me from the common room; curious eyes following the ugly duckling Greengrass transformed by magic hands into a beautiful swan.

He didn't say anything for a long while, merely looked me up and down, slowly, with his trademark smirk firmly in place.

"You look... passable." My turn to smirk.

"And you look like a professional blind date. Shall we be off?" I smiled sweetly, taking the sting out of the words. I didn't mean them. He actually looked... incredible.

We'd arrived fashionably late, and now he was being caring and charming and _offering me drinks. _There must be some catch. This was Draco fucking Malfoy; he wasn't a nice guy.

"Yes please, Draco." For all my intelligence I couldn't help but return his pleasant behaviour.

I took the time to look around at the other guests. Nott, looking broody as ever, Zambini looking darkly handsome, Davis looking unconventionally beautiful in her own, unique way...

... and then Parkinson, without Daphne. My heart constricted as I realised my sister hadn't shown, and why. Any softening towards Malfoy immediately vanished and I frowned as he made his way back to me.

"Sorry I took so long," he smiled, and my resolve started to crumble. I firmly put the walls back up. "The drinks are so bloody far away."

"I'm glad. Someday you'll go further, and I hope you stay there. You're good, being gone."

He seemed surprised at my sudden hostility. His eyes narrowed.

"There's enough people in the world who hate you, Greengrass. Don't work so hard to get another one."

I smirked at him, feeling awful inside. "Let's go some place where we can each be alone. May I have the pleasure of your absence?"

And with that, I turned and left him open-mouthed, still clutching the drinks he'd just picked up.

If this was the right thing to do, why did it feel so wrong?

**A/N next chapter up tomorrow! Sorry it's so late and short, things make sense next chapter! Sorry though. I had a rough weekend, the one year anniversary of a close friends death. I miss her so so so much! geurgh :(**

**Thanks to .Wannabe-Fantasy - what a nice person. I mean really lovely review. Cheered me up!**

**My apologies to colouringcrayons - I'm waiting to hear back from a few other offers but thanks so much! I'll get back to you in the next week.**


	10. Chapter 10

I sat awake in my dormitory, listening to the soft breathing of my roommates sleeping. It was, according to the clock that gently ticked away time above my bed, three am.

All I could think about was Nott's.

Initially, I hadn't wanted to go. The idea of spending an evening with Malfoy, pretending to be "la-vahs" seemed about as appealing as playing leapfrog with a Unicorn.

But then something had changed. We'd kissed, and I'd faced my feelings. I was starting to care about Malfoy, but I didn't know how it could be stopped. I groaned, frustrated at my uncontrollable teenage hormones.

The evening had been... pleasant, up to a point. His personality may have been enough to make me wish I was a lesbian, but my, could he dance. Having taken dancing classes at a young age, I knew myself to be capable on the dance floor, and in all honesty I should have expected the same from my partner, but yet it didn't seem plausible. In truth, he was fantastic.

Bloody brilliant. Let's chalk that up on the 'Malfoy's Attractions' list, shall we Astoria? As if I wasn't having enough difficulty controlling myself around the git.

Matters were only made worse my his gentle manner all night, and "to dissuade the students, as is the purpose of the evening", his hands had become very comfortable very quickly with my skin.

I shivered, recalling something he'd said to be at the beginning of the evening.

"_Astoria,"_

_My gaze flickered to him immediately. My first name sounded alien in his velvet voice, his tone a caress._

"_Tonight, you're my lover." He said it as a foreigner would, 'la-vah'._

_His eyes roamed my face, his hand coming up to turn my cheek in his direction._

"_Act accordingly." he gave me a quick, almost lazy kiss on the cheek, before straightening and offering me his hand._

"_Shall we?"_

My cheek continued to burn. I couldn't help but feel it was right, natural even, to act like that with Malfoy. We'd been separate from the others, aloof, very much a couple. Companionship in our isolation. I knew he felt as much contempt for many of our peers as I did, and it drove the act to a much deeper level. He may be an arse, but I could understand him, as well as being drawn in by his many complexities.

Draco Malfoy. His name was a question that I desperately wanted the answer too.

My thoughts shifted. Was it wrong that I spent so much of my life obsessing over someone I didn't even like? Daphne had made things impossible between us, and yet I liked the distraction from the constant worry about Mother.

Things had taken a turn for the worse.

She was still unconscious, but her frame was rapidly deteriorating. Her arms were limp from lack of use, her muscle wasting away, her face slack and uninhabited by the usual sparkle of life that I needed so much.

I was to see her tomorrow. I needed my sleep or the visit would be unbearable. The world did not need to see grouchy Astoria fighting with her sister as tensions ran high by a hospital bed.

I sighed, and slipped out of my bed before carefully navigating my feet into my slippers. A nice, steaming mug of warm milk with hazel should do the trick; and the house elves would love to be of service, no matter the time.

My feet made a faint echo as I slid slowly down the empty corridor towards the stairs, the only noise my heart obediently pumping hot blood through my veins.

I froze as I reached the entrance of the common room. Two voices were conversing rapidly, in hushed tones. I knew immediately my sudden appearance would not be welcome, and so I ducked into the shadows to listen to the secrets spread in the dark.

"You think she suspects?" The voice seemed familiar, if a little rough.

"Not yet. It's merely a matter of time. She's not an idiot Draco. She wont turn a blind eye either." Even my faithful heart seemed to slow at this news - and I was shocked to recognise Nott's voice.

"I can't leave her alone." the voice was a whisper.

"Love will make fools out of the best of us, and you are certainly not the best."

Malfoy's voice hardened. "I am nobodies fool," he sneered. "Least of all _love. _I merely find her intriguing. If you believe me to be making a mistake, say so. I'm in no mood for your damned nonsense."

I heard Nott laugh, a small, sarcastic one. "You _were_ nobodies fool, I think you'll find you've been adopted. You need to focus, Draco, and start looking for opportunity. The Dark Lord has wished it, and so it must be done."

I could almost see the look of Malfoy's anger in my minds eye.

"Yes, I realise that, _Theodore. _It was me that got entrusted with the task after all. Try showing some respect."

This time Nott laughed in sheer amusement. "I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter. Everyone knows you only got selected due to your family's... mistakes."

"I'll ignore the slight due to the fact that you've been drinking, but it's time for you to go to bed." In spite of it's scratchy sound, Malfoy's voice was steel.

"I think I will. Make sure it gets done Draco. I won't be happy if I have to finish what you started."

"It will be done." His tone clearly portrayed that the conversation was over, and I panicked as I heard the swish of Nott's cloak coming towards the stairs, and inevitably my hiding place.

Nott paused as he walked past me, smirked and disappeared up the stairs, his voice floating down towards me.

"Goodnight, Astoria."

I sighed. Now Draco had been alerted to my presence, I had to show myself. I stepped out of the shadows.

Malfoy's outline was filled with tension as he looked into the dwindling fire.

I remained silent as I drew nearer to the sofa where a shock of white hair stood out against the smooth blackness of the leather, his portrait drenched in firelight.

"Hello."

He remained silent, and I took the opportunity to apologise for my behaviour.

"I'm sorry I was rude to you."

His face flickered was something I couldn't decipher.

"Don't ever apologise to me. Not to anyone, but especially not to me. I don't deserve it."

That was unexpected. I edged closer, and then moved back again at the smell.

"Are you _drunk_?" My voice was flooded with naive surprise. Was it really that shocking?

He finally looked at me, his eyes were slightly bloodshot, the smell of firewhisky evident.

"What do you care?" The voice was hoarse; rough. He said the words slowly, as if he was savouring the taste of them.

"I don't." My words were too quick, too rushed to be innocent.

He smirked, and I flushed.

We sat in silence for a moment longer.

"I'm not the man you think I am, Astoria. I cheat, I lie, I kill... so why are you still here? Is there no beginning to your good taste?"

"Sorry, I didn't realise this was a pity party. I forgot my party dress." My voice oozed with sarcasm.

His eyes flashed dangerously.

"This isn't a joke. It's a warning. You know what they say. 'Those who play with fire always get burned'. I'm a Death Eater. You shouldn't be near me. It's too dangerous."

"I also know that the very same people say 'those who speak in clichés lack the wit to think of things to say themselves'. You're not that bad. Don't pretend you're all hard now you've made friends with Daddy's cult, and got yourself a big, bad tattoo. You don't scare me, Draco Malfoy."

I don't know why I was protesting so hard. Secretly, I'd loved him trying so hard to get me. I got a thrill from his threats. Was I so desperate that I needed to convince him to continue? I felt sick with myself, but I didn't stop.

"You're wrong. I do scare you. I scare myself more. I'm trying to help you. I'm not going to argue with you any longer. Stay. Away. From Me."

He got up to leave, but I darted out of my seat to stop him.

I was pissed now. Sparring with Malfoy had become a constant I loved. He couldn't deny me the pleasure of beating him verbally by turning the other cheek and refusing to satisfy my need to fight.

"If I'm wrong, tell me everything you know that can contradict me. I can spare ten seconds."

He looked at me, and that more than anything was what let me loosen my grip enough for him to shake my grasp. Hs eyes were blank, the intelligent flame that usually resided there snuffed.

Without another word, he too disappeared up the stairs. I growled in irritation. Perfect.

Malfoy looked like hell, smelled worse, had the unflattering complexion of self-pity drawn all over his smarmy face and had just left me alone in the dark... and yet I still wanted to repeat what had happened in the class room.

I was beginning to understand Daphne's insane obsession, and the thought horrified me. Shoving all thoughts of Daphne aside, I ran up the stairs once more, my mind turning with the overheard conversation and Malfoy's contrasting behaviour to the evening, and spent hours tossing and turning before falling into an uneasy, dreamless sleep.

Tomorrow was not going to be a good day.

**A/N So, like ten chapters in, and a plot begins to emerge. Ha.**

**I really appreciate every review, and I thank ColouringCrayons and .Wannabe-Fantasy, whose reviews always make my day. Thanks!**

**OH! And I need a good summary for the story. If anyone can help at helping me sum up my ramblings, I would credit them and be eternally grateful, if anybody is interested. ^-^**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N So I went to a party last night and am vair hungover and possibly still drunk. My hands have cuts all over them from where I lost a bottle smashing contest, but I am extremely dedicated, so here's the next chapter. Sorry if it sucks.**

Mother sat alone in her chair, gazing out from her fourth floor room. She was no longer in a critical condition, and they'd moved her, but it was like she was dead. The noises coming out of her mouth were simply random notes, strung together in an indecipherable code.

I slipped into the room subtly, slid of my coat with as much gracefulness as possible, lay in gently on the empty chair and just watched her.

My blood ran cold as ice as I thought of my Mother being attacked and turned into the vegetable in front of me.Those bastards. I would find out who did and make them pay.

A noise broke me out of my reverie.

My body tensed immediately, the muscles in my neck so rigid and protruding you could have cut a pumpkin with them. The sound of the approaching 'click' of a heel was enough to make me stiff as a board, my face painted with lines of worry.

I knew why Daphne hadn't appeared at the party, and I knew she'd be pissed now. I loved her so much, and yet I couldn't trust her at all, and it hurt me. I would never fully understand my complex sister, hard as I tried. She had a master poker face to rival even my icy features, and her thoughts were constantly out of my reach. It infuriated me beyond belief.

Click, click, click. As the clacking of the heels grew ever closer, the inevitability of seeing my blood relative came crashing down on me like a wave of terror, and I sucked in a deep breath.

Calm.

And then, bang! There she was, in all her beauty, the delightful Daphne standing in front of my own two feet... smiling?

Crap. My worry returned tenfold.

"Hello Tory!" she practically sang, waltzing casually up to Mother and carefully placing a blanket around her sunken shoulders.

I blinked in surprise, and also resentment. Mother had grown used to my presence enough that she could bear to me in the same room as me without waking the ward, but shrieked and flinched away if I so much as made a move to touch her.

"Hey," I muttered. Whatever had Daphne in such a good mood was bound to be bad news for me.

A few moments of silence passed, before my sister turned to me, beaming.

"Guess what?"

"What?" My monotone contrasted heavily with her gleeful tones.

"He finally did it. Isn't the most fantastic news?"

Confusion flooded my face. "Huh?"

"Draco! He finally asked me out." Her voice turned into the dreamy voice of those lost in fantasy. "He's taking me to The Acromantula for dinner in the holidays."

I felt like I'd been punched. Last night I'd realised I care for Draco, this morning I was beginning to comprehend just how much. I was also beginning to understand that Malfoy would stop at nothing to keep me away from him.

"How... lovely." My voice choked, but Daphne either didn't notice or didn't care.

"Isn't it?" She giggled.

"Mmm. Sorry Daph, I have to go now, but Father will be here soon."

"Already? But I haven't even told you the story of how it happened yet!"

"I know, such a shame. You can tell me another time. I simply must leave now or I'll be late. So sorry. Give my love to Father, and give Mother a kiss from me." I began retreating. "See you tomorrow Daphne."

I slipped into the slightly shadowy corridor, barely controlling my eyes as tears threatened to fall. This was all Draco's fault. I could manage without him just fine, if he'd only leave my mind long enough for me to try.

Frustrated, I turned to leave, but I was stopped by the sudden presence of a large, Father shaped block in the middle of my path.

Bloody brilliant.

"Astoria, just where do you think you're going?"

"Back to school, Sir. I have a meeting. I don't want to be late."

He pierced me with his razor sharp glare.

"A meeting? This wouldn't have anything to do with that stupid group promoting-" he stopped and sneered. "-_muggle rights_, would it?"

I flushed. "No, Father. I told you; that was ONE time."

His lip curled, and he leaned closer, putting his mouth right next to my ear.

"Don't make me do anything I'll regret. You will behave like the daughter you should be, or things will get, ah, unpleasant."

He straightened up and strode past me into Mother's ward, ignoring my flinch as I shied away from the cruel man that was my Father.

The tears that had welled up were no longer there, replaced my humiliation dealt by the hand of my parent.

I hastily walked to the stairs, and took them two at a time. I grabbed the portkey Dumbledore had made, and checked the time remaining 'til it's departure. Forty minutes.

I sighed. Just as I passed through the silky softness of the glass that was the doorway to St. Mungos, the portkey glowed and I felt the familiar tugging sensation in my navel. Very clever - prime the device for immediate withdrawal if not in a certain area. Simple and genius, it carried the hallmark of my Headmaster.

I floated down to the soft grass by the lake, and despite the bite in the air, and my lack of coat - which I realised I must have left at the hospital - I made my solitary way down to the edge of the water, before sitting cross legged, half-hidden by the huge tree I lay against.

I don't know how long I sat there, but it was long enough to make my bum numb, and legs stiff with disuse.

The sun was still out, but the air was rapidly cooling and the few students who were there slowly drifted back up to their dorms, and by the time I stood up the skyline was dusky and starting to make it's inevitable change of day into night.

My thoughts were still a jumble. Where could I find solace? In thoughts of Mother, screaming at me, denying me while she slowly died? Or perhaps my Father, furious at me for showing some compassion to Mudbloods, angry enough to hurt me physically at times? Daphne was no better, as I kept imagining her and Malfoy curled around each other, and the sudden urge to hit something came on very strong. Malfoy. I couldn't think of him either. The knowledge that he really was just using me to dissuade admirers sickened me, and even as he did the very same thing with my sister I knew I still wanted his embrace.

The pain was unbearable, and I couldn't face traipsing back to the castle just to wallow in pity again. So I did something I hope I'll never do again.

I jumped in the wintery lake.

The water was icy cold and dark, reflecting emofied, twisted versions of myself back up to where I'd left my shoes and outer robe. It was glorious.

My skin felt numb and alive at the same time, every cell reverberating with the shock the freezing lake bought to my system. I closed my eyes and let myself float in the water, teeth chattering and lips trembling, flushed blue by the chill.

The water seemed to flush away all previous thoughts and all I could think of was the icy fire caressing my skin, burning me, exquisite pain, violent and intense and furiously turning my warm blood to subzero temperatures.

Suddenly I was wrenched away from my watery prison, and I cried out, missing the ignorant bliss that the pain gave me.

My cries mingled with my rescuers - their voice was fraught with panic.

"Astoria! Astoria!"

I couldn't move, and my brain was sluggish. I opened my eyes a tiny amount, and barely made out their fuzzy form as they worked over me, drying out my clothes and warming me with huge gusts of air. I closed my eyes and allowed them to frantically call for help and murmur complex spellwork over my frozen body.

"Apapneo!" I coughed and spluttered, choking up great mouthfuls of water I'd swallowed just moments ago.

More murmured spells, and the shadowy figure had soon multiplied, and then I was getting carried up to the castle in giant arms, feeling warmer and safe, all thoughts from earlier banished from my mind.

**A/N I know this is late. Sorry. **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N : Sorry it's late! Thank-you for all the reviews - I HAD NINE! For this story, it's more than double what I've had previously. Thanks a bunch! Made me so happy. **

**And thanks a bunch to the wonderful ColouringCrayons - not only a fun person to send massive emails to, but a great beta and fantastic writer! (seriously, go check her page out! NOW!)**

**Here it is ...**

I came to in a dingy, bleach white corner; the Hospital Wing. My mind was groggy and I was in that relaxed stupor that only comes when you are on the brink of sleep once more, and I had to fight to hold it back.

I blinked, once, twice, the fuzz fading softly out of my eyes with each contraction of my eyelids. A grey blob interrupted my frighteningly white surroundings, fuzzy around the edges, it swam in and out of focus slightly, before finally adjusting.

I shook my head emphatically. My vision must still be playing havoc with me. My vigourous faux-head banging stirred the figure, and he too blinked away the sleep that stung his expression. Seeing me, he called my name in a slurred fashion, the words echoing out of the chasm of his mouth with an unashamed haste.

"Astoria!" _Who else? _I thought sarcastically.

My voice cracked, my throat straining to make myself heard. "Nott."

"How are you feeling?" His voice stayed cool as ever, but I noticed his hand snaked closer to mine. I nonchalantly interlaced our fingers, craving comfort and the warmth of another person. I refused to think that it wasn't _what_ I was craving, but _whom_. Still, Nott didn't object, which surprised me. Could Nott actually care about other people? The thought was alien.

"Like shit."

"Well, you look lovely."

I narrowed my eyes at the hint of a smirk gracing his features.

"I can tell you're lying - your lips are moving. How do I look?"

"Let's just say I hope you don't feel the way you look right now."

I groaned. My body felt heavy, like a dead weight, I felt disgustingly weak, my hair felt scratchy at the base of my skull... and now I had to deal with the fact that I looked revolting? Fucking fabulous.

"Pass me a mirror. And my wand."

He did so seamlessly, despite only having one hand, though I thought I heard him mutter "What did your last slave die of?" under his breath.

My appearance was better than I thought, and worse. It was better because my hair really wasn't that unmanageable, and a few painful flicks later it was it's usual glossy self. It was worse because the problems were beyond my capabilities - how do you get rid of sallow skin and hollows under your eyes? My complexion was usually easy enough to manage, but right now it was a faint yellow. Great.

Nott had been watching me partially fix my face, utterly fascinated. I glared at him, and he shrugged in response.

"You've been unconscious for four days. Nobody expects you to look attractive."

"Four days? Please tell me you haven't stayed here the entire time... though Merlin knows why you're here now!" I ignored the slight.

He nodded, his face grimacing slightly. He caught my incredulous expression and grinned half-heartedly. "Most of the time, anyway. Draco covered for a bit, but I quite liked it. You're quality of conversation is much better when you keep your mouth shut."

"Draco?"

He looked at me with his intensely calculating blue eyes before scoffing. "You didn't honestly expect us to leave you in here, defenceless, _alone_, did you? Somebody attacked your Mother. Somebody forced you into the lake, nearly killing you. You're so thin right now if I put my arm around you I'd probably slap myself in the face. You were ice cold when I pulled you out of the lake Astoria. They were considering Mungo's! Yeah, leaving you alone would have been a really good idea."

I sat there, stunned into silence. That was the longest speech I'd ever heard him make, and it was in honour of protecting me? I was flattered. Although -

"Hang on, what do you mean somebody forced me into the lake? I jumped in. I couldn't take it."

"You did _what?_" two voices asked me simultaneously.

I whipped my head around, and there he was, holding two steaming mugs in front of him, his face a picture of horror.

I grimaced internally, going from relaxed to defensive in an instant. "I jumped in."

Nott seemed pissed, but Malfoy seemed furious. I almost felt bad for the guy, until I remembered that he had screwed up my familial relationships for, let's see... ever? I hated him... but he looked so damn appealing without his jumper that I forced myself to look away. Unfortunately, my gaze landed on my hand, entwined with Theo's. Malfoy looked down too, his fury extending past anything I'd ever seen.

"Leave. Now." His words were a command, and Nott got up without a second thought, caving in to Malfoy's request.

He was nearly at the curtains that surrounded my bed, before our connection stopped him. Without kipping a beat he leant down and kissed me softly on my outstretched hand, before giving it a gentle squeeze, letting go, and walking out of there without even a second glance. Coward.

I was alone with Malfoy.

I held my tongue as the silence grew longer, despite finding Malfoy's continual glares off-putting. Reaching for the mirror once more, he finally spoke.

"Don't bother. It's a lost cause."

I frowned at him angrily. He couldn't know how much my less than perfect face dogged me, how I resented myself for looking how I did, rather than like Mother or Daphne. His not-so-innocent jab cut me deep, but I was determined not to show him. I slipped on my metaphorical mask with ease; nothing would get through.

He shrugged at my anger. "I'd offer to improve your looks but I think kicking you in the face would get me banished from the Hospital Wing, and I need an explanation."

"Now now Draco, play nice. A sharp tongue is not an indication of a sharp mind." I murmured drowsily, already tired from the short conversation, before pausing and adding, "An explanation?"

"Yes. In fact, I need several explanations. Firstly, what's going on between you and Nott?"

Internally, I laughed uproariously. Of all the things you can ask a recently awakened Coma patient! Ridiculous. My mask held though, no emotion slipped past.

I sighed. "Make me happy Malfoy, and mind your own damn business."

"You _are_ my business."

I stopped, mouth agape, words failing me.

"I - what?"

He continued to look at me, his blue eyes coldly bringing me alive.

He scoffed. "You surely didn't expect Gregor Greengrass to leave his daughter unconscious without any protection, did you? Merlin Astoria, you can't really be as stupid as you look."

I shot him a scathing look, leaving the fact that that's was exactly what I expected unsaid. "I'm not thick Malfoy. I'm just acting this way so you can keep up."

His face remained unreadable.

"You didn't answer my question."

I paused, considering this. Should I tell the truth or let him wallow? I decided on a bit of both. After all, if Nott was willing to play along ...

"Nothing."

His face shifted into one of … relief? I ignored this, and reached for a cup of hot pumpkin juice before continuing.

"Yet." Smiling innocently at him, I sipped at my drink, avoiding his gaze. I almost felt his scowl emanating towards me.

"Fine." His voice was cool and betrayed nothing. Stupid Malfoy and his self-control. "If you won't explain that, explain the lake."

I snorted into my juice. "That? That was nothing. I'm okay now, can we just forget it?"

He started pacing, a slight growl coming from his throat, his hand automatically coming up to grab at his already messy hair. Huh. That would explain the prematurely receding hairline then.

"How am I meant to protect you if you don't tell me anything? You can't do this alone Astoria."

I nodded my head. "It will be hard getting along without you, but let me give it a go; I'm sure I'll manage somehow. Besides, I have Nott."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth I regretted them. He stood still, before gradually turning to face me.

His voice came out a whisper, his hand slowly extending towards my face. I flinched away from it.

"Why are you doing this? We kissed. We went to a party together. I watched over you _while you were unconscious. _I think this would make us friends, or at the very least, somebody who you can at least be civil too. You're so fucking ambiguous!" He stepped closer, bringing his face down to my level, until it was inches away from my ugly complexion. "Tell me what you want from me."

I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. Unfortunately, his proximity meant his smell invaded my nostrils. I literally could not get him out of my head.

"Please," my voice cracked, and even too my own ears I sounded weak. "Please, leave me alone. I can't deal with this right now."

My mask slipped, my face falling into one of extreme fatigue. I expected a snarky comment, a witty response, but silence met my ears. Finally, after a long moment, I heard a swish of a cloak and a squeak of a heel as Malfoy left my side.

A few minutes later Madam Pomfrey was bustling around, but I barely noticed. My mind was haphazard and I realised I'd exerted all my energy into keeping up a front against Malfoy. Stupid, stupid Astoria. Why did I even care what he thought of me?

I drank the potion she thrust at me, and mere moments later I sank into an uneasy sleep,

all thoughts drifting away, until I was left with only one.

What exactly did I want from Draco Malfoy?

**A/N Thoughts are always appreciated : )**


	13. Chapter 13

**I can only endlessly apologise, and hope you don't hate me. If you don't, feel free to check out my newest one-sht, 'Wish Me Luck, Evans' and leave me some reviews there. It's sadly lacking.**

**Oh and this chapter is un-beta'd, I couldn't get hold of ColouringCrayons this week, but go check her out anyway.**

**Special thanks to:**

**Beautifully-Scarred-Underneath - Thank-you! What a lovely review. Sorry that this chapter's even shorter, I'll make it up in the next one.**

**AliLuvsAlli-Sirius - I like all reviews, so none are ever boring for me :)**

**Ireth Tastir Elf Princess - Thank-you! That review made me smile.**

**VeniVidiViciMR - wow. You made my day (repeatedly! I just had to go back and re-read it) with that review - totally not, but so nice to hear!**

**And also to AnnieBananie97, crazy's wat i aim 4, Julia-Caesar, and writingismypassion37 .. thank-you for reviewing :D**

It'd been a few weeks since my... time in the hospital, and christmas was only a few short more away. I'd avoided Dra- No. _Malfoy _like he was spattergroit, and I think he'd been trying to do the same to me. Nott and I had become very close, constantly seeking refuge in one another's company but doing very little actual interacting, instead preferring the easy, comfortable silence between us while we worked. He was having a very positive effect on my grades, actually.

That's not to say we never talked, however. The first night I was out from Madam Pomfrey's harpy glare, I saw a glimpse of pure kindness in Theodore Nott, a trait which I was sure he'd eradicated due to it's inefficiency.

"_Theo?" My voice carries in the air; a sound for just the two of us, enclosed in our little study alcove in the library._

"_Mmm?" He doesn't look up, the half-hearted murmur coming from his lips as he idly scratches out an unsatisfactory word or two._

"_Did my father really ask you to watch over me? Or did Daphne?"_

_His quill stops, mid-scratch. His gaze becomes intense and focused, staring me down. I refuse to budge, and hold my chin a little higher._

_Finally, he puts down his quill and leans his head on his hands, still facing me. He sighs._

"_Look, Tori-"_

_I waver, and look down, then glance up again quickly, just in time to see his expression shift from one of knowing compassion to one of indifference._

"_No." I cut him off, meet his eyes, and smile shakily. "It's fine. I didn't really believe it anyway."_

_He grimaces, and there's a slight pause before he opens his mouth to argue, but once more my voice interrupts his._

"_Do you think I'm pretty?" I blurt, more to change the uncomfortable subject than anything else. And it works. I briefly wandered why I'd said _that_, but I suppose it was inevitable, really. Thoughts of my family always shifted back to me, how I was a blood-traitor, nothing more than an ugly stain on the pristine Greengrass tree._

_That's how I knew it wasn't Father who asked Theo to protect me from further attack. He barely thought of me as his daughter anymore, not since Mother had fallen ill. Sometimes I think what life would be like if I looked life Daphne. Would he accept me then?_

_I blink, and suddenly I'm back to the present, where Theo is looking at me dubiously._

_I shake my head, and try for a smirk. "No, don't answer that either. Get back to your Transfiguration."_

_He looks at me an instant longer, analysing, piercing my mask. And then -_

"_Potions, actually."_

_And suddenly the atmosphere is warm, and light again. We both smile semi self-consciously and go back to our work. _

_Later, when I return to my dormitory from the shower room, I'll find a note attached to my pillow, with just two words on it._

_You're beautiful._

_And I'll smile, properly, for the first time in days._

It's Theo's note that I finger gently in my pocket while taking in a deep breath, the ragged piece of parchment worn smooth by my hands. Slightly steadied, I straighten and wait for my sister to come out of her class.

A flash of blonde darts past, almost running out of the Herbology greenhouse. I have honestly never understood why she chose _Herbology_ of all things to continue to N.E.W.T. level, but then again, there's a lot I don't understand about Daphne.

Like why she got sixth years to act as my personal bodyguards.

"Daphne! Hey, Daphne! Wait up!" I call, and practically run after my elder sibling.

She twirls around quickly, surprised. Unsure of herself, she waits, ready to run, but does not say a word.

I arrive next to her, and she looks at me cooly, detached, surprised, and clearly impatient.

"Look, if this is going to take up loads of time, can it wait 'til later? I kind of have to be somewhere."

I blink. She wasn't running from me? A surge of relief washes through me, and I'm just so happy that she doesn't completely hate me that all I can do is utter out why I was there.

"Did you tell Theo to look out for me when I was in the Hospital Wing?"

She smirks. "Theo, Tori, really?"

I stiffen. Mistake number one is admitting feelings. Feelings make you vulnerable. Stupid, stupid me.

I just look at he with the same level of detachment she's showing me.

She sees I won't be deterred, and laughs sharply. "Yeah I did, okay? I thought someone was trying to hurt you, like the did to Mother. Obviously I was wrong, and I'm sorry. I won't interfere in your life again."

"Thank-you." My reply shocks me a little too, but I'm actually glad I said it. I really do appreciate feeling like I'm not wholly alone in the world, even if it's just occasionally.

She smiles slightly, but it's a genuine one, and the corners of my mouth quirk in response.

"Your welcome. Maybe I'll see you later? We really need to put the Draco stuff behind us Astoria. He's not worth it. I miss you. Later?"

I nod, dumbly, overwhelmed by... I don't know. Confusion? Surprise? Pure happiness? More questions, definitely. Since when was Malfoy 'not worth it' to Daphne?

She nods back, and hurries off in the direction of the castle. I should really be going to lunch in a minute, but I figure I'll skip it today. I'd eaten some sugar quills in the free period I had while waiting for Daphne.

Smiling, I decided to go to the Owlry to check on my beautiful owl, Athena. Things were definitely looking up.

**If you read that, thanks for sticking with me. My life has been crazy recently - I now live at school! Thank Jesus for Easter. (lame joke. Sorry.) I'm so so sorry, and even more apologies for how short it is. I should have the next one posted soon though. I see this as a filler chapter more than anything. **

**Your thoughts? I adore. Let me have them !**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Endless apologies. I thought of abandoning this story, because I'm currently doing a load of exams, but I couldn't. I write for me, not for reviews, and I do appreciate them all, but this means my schedule is erratic at best. However, I like how this chapter turned out, so I'd really love to hear your feedback.**

I'd been happy earlier. Really, truly happy. And now? Now I was just fucking _numb_. Like my emotions had been deleted. I was empty.

I'd been happy for a few reasons, and one of those reasons was that is was beautiful outside, one was that it was nearly Christmas break, and one was Daphne.

We'd both met up and made up, and although I'd never admit it outright, I was supremely glad about it. She was my sister, and for all I wished I didn't care about her, I couldn't pretend I really felt like the cool, stand-offish tough exterior that I projected. Underneath it all I cared for Daphne, for the bond our shared blood afforded, more deeply than I thought - but I'd never tell her. You never tell someone you love them, it makes you look like an idiot. I couldn't tell her, but she _knew. _I hurt if we weren't friends, or at least 'friends'; sisters on speaking terms.

She may have been a bully and a constant mirror reflecting back at me all my faults in comparison to her flawlessness, but she was my saviour as well. Every time Father had lashed out at me, physically, mentally - it was her I turned to. Mother shielded me too, but she stood up to Father, and Daphne would just hold me. She was a complete bitch to me afterwards, but when I needed her, she was there. We were family.

So I'd been happy. Maple syrup, completely sappy, smile-slipping-through-my-mask happy. I felt like I could do anything - confront Father, tell Nott how much I loved his note, talk to Draco... I was unstoppable. I was infinite in that moment, when I basked in the warm glow of sisterly affection.

But now? Now I was nothing. The glow was faded; I was finite, and mortal, and very, very alone.

My mother was dead.

My mother. _My _Mother. My _mother._ Dead. My Mother was dead. The words were alien. My Mother, dead. A non-presence. Gone.

She'd died in her sleep. The nurses at St. Mungo's said there wasn't anything suspicious about her death, that she was running on a ticking clock, but Father had predictably gone mental. I sometimes think the only thing he's ever cared about is Mother. Not his parents, not me, not even Daphne held such a place in his heart. But _she_ did. She was special.

That was why, I supposed, that Daphne had gone to be with him. He needed her. He needed Daphne with her flowing blonde hair and bright blue eyes, with her innocent face and small loving hands to caress tiny circles on Father's back as he stared at my Mother's body, shell shocked, wandering what to do. He needed Daphne as a reminder that Mother had ever been, that she'd existed, and mattered, and had left her legacy with her daughter, her clone.

He hadn't needed me, but I didn't care. In fact, I didn't feel a fucking thing.

What was wrong with me? Was I so cold, so selfish, that I couldn't even mourn the death of the only person I'd ever truly loved? I couldn't even cry. Not one solitary tear had crawled out of the abyss of my eyes, and none threatened to fall. No emotion had shown when I'd heard the news. Nothing, save perhaps surprise. My voice didn't catch with emotion when I said I'd like to stay at Hogwarts, thanks, and no I would not be returning home. I would continue with my lessons.

I was a monster. She was my _mother_. And all I could feel was numbness, it's thick tentacles wrapping around me, stifling me with their emptiness, chocking me.

I'm not even sure I could have said anything else, even if I'd wanted to.

I'm not even sure I have a voice anymore.

It's like I can't breathe, or sit, or stand because I'm just so fucking empty that my body is just collapsing in on itself, in and in and in, because there's no Astoria there to push it out again.

I try though. I sleep and I eat and I do my homework like a good girl, mechanical, dead, a metal shell of a girl, and it's like I'm watching myself through a window. I go down to dinner but it's not me, this isn't me, this unresponsive girl who looks normal but is empty inside. She's just a sick joke, a puppet, but I'm not the puppeteer anymore. I'm nobody. I hear all the words they fling around me, whisper whisper, hush, mustn't let her hear, but I don't react. I don't exist enough to react.

"Didn't her Mother-"

"Yes! Didn't you know? She killed herself -"

"I always knew she was cold but I never -"

"Doesn't she care at all?"

"Her sister went home to be with family, but look at her. Unfeeling -"

"If it was me -"

"Ice-queen."

"Not one single tear! I hear she's staying for the holidays too. You'd think she'd get lonely without her sister but she _chose _to stay here - "

Daphne's gone, Mother's gone, Father was never here. A neat little set which I don't fit in to. Gone, gone, all gone but me.

And so I just sit there, eating and listening, no mask because I have nothing to hide, nothing's there, except me, listening and eating, my hand robotically shovelling food into my mouth, spoon after spoon of Merlin knows what hits my empty insides, thud, thud, filling me up so Astoria can be a real girl again, and not this stone replica.

I pay for it later, the things that mixed inside in the empty space are repulsed by the nothingness and come flying back up into the toilet basin in the isolated cubicle on the first floor. I'm safe from their whispers here. Moaning Myrtle, my currently absent knight in shining armour, will keep them away.

Death keeps everyone away, it seems.

When I'm finally done, I flush away all evidence that I'm empty again and turn to the mirrors. I look awful, but for once I don't care. I have nothing to look good for. I'm just a shell. Astoria is dead; long live Astoria.

My breath is putrid and rotting. I disgust myself, and I heave once, twice, worried for another relapse or sickness, but I don't. There's nothing left to give, nothing left to expunge from my body. I'm repulsive, but fixable. I'm magic, aren't I? My wand creeps into my hand, and I know what I have to do. I have to get clean. I'm filthy. No wonder everyone leaves me.

"SCOURGIFY" I scream, wand pointing at my mouth.

Pink bubbles sprout into being, spurting from the tip of my wand, and suddenly I'm choking; soap pervading my senses, permeating my mouth, penetrating my nasal cavity, and my eyes can't see anything, just soap, soap everywhere. I spit and spit but even when all the bubbles are gone I'm still not clean. I'm dirty, impure, my soul black and obscene, if I even have one.

Maybe I don't have a soul. Maybe it's just me.

Astoria Greengrass, always alone.

It could be a novel. The tragic tale of a young girl least liked by her abusive father, abandoned by her loving mother, bullied by the perfect sister who saved her from her father - her tormentor and saviour all wrapped up in one happy bundle. Unlikeable. Unloved. Hollow.

I need to escape.

Surprisingly, it's easy. Hogwarts is destitute, for once the hallways are clear, stark. I must have stayed in Myrtle's kingdom longer than I thought. I make my way to the astronomy tower, evading any form of detection. I'm tired, but I want to feel something. I want to feel the thrill of fear as I contemplate falling, the rush of wind against my cheeks, the chill wind saturating my skin with it's icy splendour. I just want to feel alive.

I sit there for a brief while, watching the stars, envying the stars the night sisterhood, their utter togetherness, drifting in and out of human awareness in perfect unison. I watch the grounds as the wind whistles through the grass, as it catches the smoke from the gamekeepers cabin and scatters it among the sky. I watch the forest as it rustles and tweaks, teasing, hinting at the life that thrives below it's leafy canopy. I watch, silent, before he finds me. I knew he would. Somehow, I knew he would. Draco and I are inevitable now, although I don't know how it happened. He's wormed his way into my life without my knowledge or permission. Our self-imposed silence doesn't change this.

I let him speak first.

"Astoria..." the words fade. I am unresponsive, a pillar of steel with no emotion. He thinks I'm being difficult but I'm not. There's nothing to hide.

He tries again.

"I can't imagine how you must feel. Everything I am I owe to my parents... to lose one would be unimaginable."

I default back to bitch - if I pretend everything is normal, maybe he'll leave. I'm terrified he'll find out how awful I am, how cold and unfeeling.

"So send them a knut and square the account."

"Why are you doing this Astoria? You're allowed to hurt. Let me in. Maybe I can help."

"Draco, please believe me when I say if anything If said offends you, I meant it. Someone with your brain cell count can't help me."

I could have pulled that off a lot better if my throat wasn't still hoarse and crackled from the combination of regurgitated dinner and 'cleansing' bubbles.

He doesn't say anything, but he walks towards me and plonks himself by my side, looking at me expectantly.

"Let me in. You'll feel better, and you can't possibly be worse than me." he says it quietly. No underlying tone that turns my stomach, nothing. Pure and simple. Let him in.

Non-judgemental Draco is wearing me down just with his presence. He's strong, I know he wont back down. I can't hold up. I'm fragile, and cracking, and he's dangerously close to breaking me.

He tries once more. "Why won't you let me _see _you, Astoria?"

I look at him now, and my breath is stolen from me at how he's looking back. He's bared his soul for me. His stormy gray eyes are looking at me, flooded with concern and the steely will I've only ever seen in his eyes and the mirror, full of life. I look, really look, at him for the first time, taking in his dishevelled hair, his artfully disarranged clothing, his red lips, and think in that moment, when he's bared his emotions for me, knocked down his mental walls for this silhouette , non-real girl, Astoria Greengrass, that he's never been more attractive. This is a Draco I could fall in love with.

I shut my eyes tightly against this thought, and capture right now in my mind forever. I want it to be for always. And then I breathe deeply, letting the feeling go. I keep my eyes clenched tightly shut.

"Because I'm afraid you won't like what you see." I whisper.

**A/N Angst. Death. No hot love scenes. I suck so much, I'm sorry. At least it's nearly double the usual length though.**

**I hope I managed to get across how mentally unhinged she is right now too – I think she's a girl at the edge of the proverbial cliff. Feedback is very much appreciated. **


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